Living a Fulfilling Life: How to Break Free from the Success Formula

Living a fulfilling life that feels meaningful is harder than ever today.

Do you feel like you’re just going through the motions? That there must be more to life than what you've been told? Maybe you even feel like something is missing.

You may have many things that society says make you successful:

• Money

• A partner

• Kids

• Savings for when you retire

• Family trips

If you don't have these things, it may feel like pursuing them will make you happy.

It’s probably no surprise if I tell you that having these things won’t guarantee true happiness and fulfillment.

But here's the problem:

This idea of success has been conditioned in you so much that, even though you know it doesn't equal happiness, you are still controlled by it.

This isn't necessarily your fault—especially if you were never offered another model to replace it with.

After all, most of what's available to you are ways to cope with the fact you’re living this "one-size-fits-all" template. And it doesn’t help that there are countless systems embedded in our society to distract you from the pain of not living your life's template.

Coping mechanisms like meditation, therapy, medication, junk food, alcohol, social media, and Netflix are among the most common.

The Current “Success Formula” Is Not For Everyone—Or Anyone, Really

I’ve been fascinated by and obsessed with life for as long as I can remember.

As a child, I would observe people and wonder why they did what they did. Why do some people think certain things are important while others don’t? I noticed the different beliefs people had and how strongly they would hold onto them.

I was also fascinated by religion. I was raised Roman Catholic, and their idea of God was part of my childhood. I quickly realized other people believed different things about God, Creation, and the Universe.

Not only were they different, but everyone felt equally as strongly that their beliefs were the real truth. So strongly that physical altercations and wars were justified.

I often felt “out of place” with the mainstream way of life. The accepted path laid out for me didn’t make sense, either.

It was the templated "Success Formula.”

• Step 1: Do well in school

• Step 2: Go to the best college you can

• Step 3: Find the best partner

• Step 4: Get a job that makes the most money possible

• Step 5: Have some kids

• Step 6: Work most of the time, whether you enjoy it or not

• Step 7: Relax at night with a beer and the TV

• Step 8: Go on ski trips during time off

• Step 9: Count down the days until retirement

• Step 10: "Enjoy life" with whatever health you have left

Uh, yeah… no thanks.

I know I'm not the only one who reads that and thinks there must be more to life.

It’s the same reason why the majority of people struggle with this formula.

People who can follow this formula easily are called "successful." For everyone else, it's a struggle. And for those who do struggle, feelings of inadequacy and insecurity dominate their experience.

But the real tragedy is when individuals move through the success formula and feel unfilled.

They don’t realize until later in life that it wasn’t their formula to begin with. Most would choose to opt out of the Success Formula, but society praises people for sticking to the predetermined path. This makes it extremely difficult for anyone to trust themselves in following their own path.

From the last 40 years of reflection and personal experiences, I am crystal clear on one thing:

The "Success Formula" blueprint for life our society has built makes NO sense and doesn't work for 95% of the population.

But it sure keeps us busy and distracted!

My Process in “Figuring Out” a New Template to Live By

In my early 20s, it was clear that I would need to figure out a new template for myself.

In order to create this new template—one that works with both your biology and your soul—I had to explore various systems within different disciplines.

I spent over the last quarter of a century exploring, studying, and practicing many modalities, including:

• World religions

• Spirituality

• Personal Development

• Meditation

• Neuroscience

• Nutritional science

• Physical therapy

• Fitness

• Chi/Life Force Cultivation Practices

• Applied Functional Science

• Massage Therapy & Soft Tissue Therapy

• Reiki Energy Practices

• FLOW research

• Human Performance

• HeartMath Institute

• Applied Modern Psychology

• Positive Psychology

• Cognitive Behavioral Psychology

• Solution Focused Psychology

• Life Coaching Modalities

From them, I extracted the following:

1. Principles and ideas of ancient traditions

2. Unifying truths that are applicable to all humans

3. Similarities and themes—consistent across modalities—that created consistent results

4. Holistic, big-picture models

5. Things that aligned with our innate biology, working in partnership with the body

I also looked for things that enabled:

1. Self Awareness & Connection

2. Empowerment

3. Authenticity

After more than 25 years of intense focus and experimentation, I extracted the essential elements into a new framework for the living. A framework that aims to empower individuals to create their path and live in alignment with their highest selves.

The Blueprint for an Exceptional Life: How to Get Your Biology Working For You (Not Against You)

The current Health Model does nothing more than help us survive—similar to the Success Formula.

In my book, "Health to Vitality," I show you how to use my Vitality Model to work with your body instead of against it—a model that positions you to thrive.

Using a similar approach, we can break free from the Success Formula with the Blueprint for an Exceptional Life.

I'm going to give you an introduction to the Blueprint’s frameworks to show you how it works. And then, I’ll give you the first essential step on creating your own Blueprint.

Blueprint Framework #1: Body & Soul

The overarching framework is based on an idea that has existed for thousands of years.

The idea is that you are more than the body. You are a sliver of the greater consciousness of God/Creation/The Universe and have the power to create anything you choose. The body is an extremely sophisticated vessel that our soul or essence inhabits. You were something before you inhabited this body, and you will move on to another experience after this human experience.

This idea and concept was accepted as self-evident for most of human existence.

That is, until historical leaders discovered the power of controlling the masses. They created constructs that disconnected us from this innate power, labelling these ideas as “crazy.”

Realigning with this foundational idea is important to staying connected to both the body and soul.

It just so happens that there are practices that do just that, and they've been performed for tens of thousands of years.

Blueprint Framework #2: Connection to Soul

Staying connected to your soul or spirit is important because it’s where your unique vibration exists—the energetic expression of YOU that exists only within you.

Being connected to YOU as consciousness gives you access to your higher intelligence. It is where you access your intuition and the intelligence of collective consciousness.

When you connect to the experience of this unique expression of consciousness, you feel at home.  There is a sense of wholeness, fulfillment, and oneness. Time seems to disappear, and there is an experience of complete fulfillment and enjoyment.

For many people, this can seem to happen randomly throughout their lives. Commonly reported moments of this experience happen when spending time in nature or completely engaging in an activity one fully enjoys.

Most importantly, staying connected to your soul keeps you in touch with your passion, mission, and purpose.

Staying aligned with your mission and purpose daily is the most regulating thing you can do for yourself.

Since you inhabited this body to live your purpose, your body is designed to be uncomfortable when you fall out of alignment with it.

Uncomfortable looks like the daily experience of most people in our society. An experience of life riddled with anxiety, crankiness, emptiness, loneliness, sadness, and general feeling like something is missing.

What does our society offer you for these uncomfortable moments? Ways to distract and numb yourself through medications, addictions, or bouncing from one dopamine hit to another.

There is no shortage of ways to numb or get a dopamine hit. Our society has created billion-dollar industries to meet these needs. Scrolling social media, video games, online shopping, porn, addictive foods, drugs, alcohol, and the next Netflix series, to name a few.

The good news is you do not have to live this way. There is a way to get re-acquainted with your soul and spirit.

There are two exercises I give my clients to connect and nurture this connection with your soul. At the very least, it will give you some threads to pull on that will lead you to the essence of who you are.

I share these exercises in my January 1st Newsletter, "Secret to Goal Setting in 2024."

The Childhood Reflection and List of Curiosity exercises I share in this Newsletter are ones I encourage my clients to do once a year.

Blueprint Framework #3: Cultivating Life Force

Another way to nurture your soul is through life force cultivation practices.

Your soul is a frequency, a vibration, an energetic force that pulsates life through your body. These life force cultivation practices have been commonplace for humans for thousands of years. Examples of these include breathwork, Tai Chi, Qigong, and Yoga. There are countless others.

All these practices were done to remind you that you are more than your physical body and connect you to the powerful force that you are. A force of consciousness that is unique to you. One that you can leverage to create an exceptional existence.

Additional Practices to Stay Connected to Your Essence

• Childhood Reflection

• List of Curiosity

• Life Force Cultivation Practice

Blueprint Framework #4: Connection to Body

The next essential area to stay connected to is your Physical Body.

When I say Physical Body, I refer to your muscles, joints, mind, emotions, and systemic sensations.

Remember that your body's purpose is to help you live in complete alignment with your soul and spirit. Your body lives in service to YOU as pure consciousness.

This is why it is imperative that you not only stay connected to the body but also learn how to speak its language. This gives you the ability to apply and integrate its communications.

Some of the primary ways your body will communicate to you include:

1. Physical Pain

2. Thirst

3. Hunger

4. Fatigue

5. Emotions

6. Thoughts

The communication is going to fall into one of two categories:

• You are Aligned. Keep Going!

• You are Not Aligned, Pay Attention

The challenge is that many of these communications are low resolution. They communicate that something is off but don’t tell you exactly, what is off. Not to mention, they also don't provide any solutions.

These are exactly the skills you need to train and cultivate. The ability to know your body, its communications, and how to adjust to get back into alignment.

I developed a simple process that can help you with this process. I call it the "24 Hour Checklist."

When I feel "off," tired, run-down, or have a physical ache or pain, I always remind myself of one thing. My body is on my side, and this communication is here to help me get back into alignment. Then I go through my "24-Hour Checklist."  I reflect on the prior 24 hours and check in on the following three things:

The 24 Hour Checklist

Rest and recovery:

• Did I sleep 7-8 hours?

• Did I do my 20 minutes of Breathing?

Nourishment & Movement

• What have I eaten or not eaten?

• How much movement have I done or not done?

Stressful Situations

• Is there any outstanding problem that I have not solved?

I have never gone through this checklist and not gained valuable insight as to why I feel the way I feel at any moment.

Each one of these questions provides valuable information about your body. Regularly asking and exploring these questions will provide a deeper connection between you and your body.

I also want to touch on the "Stressful Situations" check-in briefly.

Stress, in this context, is an emotional communication signaling that something is wrong. Some examples of these emotions are anxiety, overwhelm, insecurity, self-doubt, frustration, and anger.

Think of ALL of these emotions as low-resolution signals that are alerting you to a problem that you have not solved. The better you are at localizing the problem and creating solutions for it, the better you will be at integrating this communication.

This takes practice.

One of the best ways to practice is through journaling. Maintaining a journal practice, using pen and paper, can be one of the most life-changing habits you begin.

The benefits of journaling are well documented. Here are some of the things journaling can do for you:

• Clarity & Focus

• Self Reflection

• Emotional Regulation

• Mindfulness

I have developed a simple but very effective journaling practice I call MES. MES stands for Morning, Evening, & Situations.

MES Journaling

MES Journaling always starts with brain dumping. This means writing down everything you are thinking at that moment. Documenting what you are feeling and sensing. The goal is to connect to what is happening inside you.

Bookending your day with this practice will keep you connected and tuned in.

Journaling can also ease the impact of trauma and difficult situations we encounter daily. According to the research conducted by Dr. James W. Pennebaker, Ph.D., a practice known as PTG journaling helps alleviate painful experiences and fosters personal growth.

PTG stands for Post Traumatic Growth. Although this can be effective for more traumatic events, you will leverage the practice for the day-to-day "traumas" or situations. Situations are stressful life events or moments that knock you off your center. These are GOLDEN opportunities for self-reflection & growth.

Reflecting on these moments does two very powerful things:

Observe: Writing it on paper gets your reaction to the event outside you. This allows you to observe it and not be consumed by it.

Reveal: Observing what you wrote gives you a window into how you operate. This is where your core beliefs, perspectives, and ways of being are revealed.

Practices to Stay Connected to The Body

• 24 Hour Checklist

• MES Journaling

The First Essential Step to Get Started Creating YOUR Blueprint

Over the next year, I will continue to expand on these ideas and concepts. I will also share the key tools you can leverage to execute on living out your blueprint.

Your first step is to take some time to connect with your passion and purpose. This is a process, and I would recommend creating some time to explore. Focusing intentionally on the practices I refer to in my January 1st Newsletter is essential. Take a few months to explore and nurture what you discover.

While exploring your passion and purpose, integrate daily connection with your body and soul. This can be done with two 20-minute practices - morning and night.

• 10 minutes of journaling

• 10 minutes of cycling life force practice

Cycling Life Force

A breathing practice I’d recommend starting with is simply imaging a ball of light at your tailbone, and, as you inhale, see that ball of light going up your spine into your brain and, on the exhale, see that light dispersing itself through the entire body. It is important to sit up with an erect spine but completely relaxed. This allows the energy to flow throughout the body. A 5-6 second inhale with a 5-6 second exhale.

I'd encourage you if you have the time to do more than 20 minutes. The first 30-40 minutes of my day is journaling and breathing.

More to Come Soon!

Subscribe to the newsletter and stay tuned. Soon, I’ll be going into the next step to take in creating your entire Blueprint for an Exceptional Life.

In the mean time, I wish you nothing more than to start living YOUR life more fully from this day forward.

You only get one chance to live this life—don’t waste it.

Yours in Vitality,

Matt